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(Vasalisa 2)
“Sarcinile acestei etape sunt: Sa invete cu inca mai multa atentie sa dea drumul mamei prea pozitive. Sa realizeze ca a fi buna, draguta, amabila, nu-ti garanteaza o viata roz. (Vasalisa devine sclava, dar asta nu o ajuta cu nimic.) Sa-si experimenteze in mod direct latura intunecata, in special aspectele sinelui care resping, sunt geloase si exploateaza (mama vitrega si surorile vitrege). Sa le accepte fara pic de echivoc. Sa aiba cea mai buna relatie posibila cu partile cele mai rele din ea insasi. Sa lase presiunea sa se intensifice intre cine e invatata sa fie si cine este cu adevarat. In final sa faca totul pentru a lasa vechiul sine sa moara, iar noul sine intuitiv sa se nasca.
Mama vitrega si surorile vitrege reprezinta elementele din psihic nedezvoltate, dar provocator de crude. Ele sunt elemente ce tin de umbra, adica acele aspecte pe care ego-ul le considera nedorite sau nefolositoare si sunt, prin urmare, exilate in intuneric. Pe de o parte, tesatura umbrei poate fi destul de pozitiva, avand in vedere ca adesea darurile femeii sunt impinse in intuneric, ascunse acolo, asteptand sa fie descoperite. Pe de alta parte, tesatura negativa a umbrei – cea care se preocupa de uciderea sau infranarea a tot ce inseamna viata noua – poate fi, de asemenea, si transformata in folosul nostru, dupa cum vom vedea. Atunci cand erupe si, in sfarsit, ii identificam aspectele si sursele, devenim tot mai puternice si mai intelepte.
In aceasta etapa a initierii, femeia este hartuita de cerintele meschine ale psihicului ei, care o indeamna sa se supuna dorintelor altora. Supunerea provoaca o realizare socanta la care trebuie sa ajunga toate femeile. Anume, ca a fi noi insine ii va determina pe multi altii sa ne exileze si, totusi, sa ne supunem la ce vor altii, ne determina sa ne exilam de noi insine. Este o tensiune chinuitoare, prin care trebuie trecut, dar alegerea este clara.
Vasalisa este privata de drepturile ei, caci mosteneste si este mostenita de o familie care nu o poate nici intelege, nici aprecia. Care o uraste si o insulta. O trateaza ca pe Straina, cea nedemna de incredere. In basme, rolul strainului sau al proscrisului este jucat, de obicei, de cel care este cel mai profund conectat la cunoasterea interioara.
Suntem prea chinuite atunci cand familia vitrega din noi si / sau din jurul nostru ne spune ca nu e nimic de capul nostru si insista sa ne concentram pe lipsurile noastre, in loc sa percepem cruzimea care se invarte in jurul nostru – fie emanand din interiorul psihicului nostru, fie din afara noastra, din cultura in care traim. Cu toate acestea, pentru a intelege ceva si a iesi la liman, se cere intuitie si, de asemenea, taria de a ramane in picioare in fata lucrurilor pe care le vedem. Ca Vasalisa, se prea poate ca incercam sa fim dragute, cand ar trebui sa fim intelepte. Se prea poate sa fi fost invatate sa lasam la o parte intuitia ascutita ca sa ne intelegem cu oamenii. Totusi, rasplata pentru faptul de a fi pur si simplu draguta intr-un mediu tiranic este ca vei fi tratata inca mai rau. Desi femeia simte ca, daca este ea insasi, ii va instraina pe ceilalti, chiar de aceasta tensiune psihica este nevoie pentru a te intalni cu sufletul tau si a face o schimbare.
In poveste, femeile vitrege oprima atat de mult tanarul psihic, incat, datorita intrigilor lor, focul se stinge. In acest punct, femeia incepe sa-si piarda taria psihica. Se poate simti infrigurata, singura, dorind sa faca orice ca sa aduca inapoi lumina. Este chiar socul de care femeia mult prea-draguta are nevoie ca sa-si poata continua asumarea propriei puteri. S-ar putea spune ca Vasalisa trebuie sa se intalneasca cu Baba Cloanta Mare si Salbatica pentru ca are nevoie de o sperietura de moarte. Trebuie sa parasim corul barfitorilor si sa ne scufundam in padure. Nu putem si sa stam pe loc, si sa mergem inainte.
Ca noi, Vasalisa are nevoie de o lumina calauzitoare care sa separe ce este bun pentru ea de ceea ce nu este. Ea nu se poate dezvolta stand mereu in batjocura altora. Femeile care incearca sa-si stearga sentimentele mai profunde isi pierd stralucirea. Focul se stinge. Este o forma dureroasa de existenta suspendata.
In mod automat si, poate, oarecum pervers, atunci cand focul se stinge, o ajuta pe Vasalisa sa iasa instantaneu din supunere. O face sa moara fata de modul vechi de a trai si sa pasesca cu tremur intr-o viata noua, una care se bazeaza pe o cunoastere interioara arhaica, mai inteleapta.”
(Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With The Wolves)
When The Fire Of Others Goes Out
“The tasks of this time are: Learning even more mindfully to let go of the overly positive mother. Finding that being good, being sweet, being nice will not cause life to sing. (Vasalisa becomes a slave, but it does not help.) Experiencing directly one’s own shadow nature, particularly the exclusionary, jealous, and exploitative aspects of self (the stepmother and stepsisters). Acknowledging these unequivocally. Making the best relationship one can with the worst parts of oneself. Letting the pressure build between who one is taught to be and who one really is. Ultimately working toward letting the old self die and the new intuitive self be born.
The stepmother and stepsisters represent the undeveloped but provocatively cruel elements of the psyche. They are shadow elements, meaning aspects of oneself which are considered by the ego to be undesirable or not useful and are therefore relegated to the dark. On one hand, shadow material can be quite positive, for often a woman’s gifts are pushed into the dark, hidden there and waiting to be discovered. On the other hand, negative shadow material – that which busily kills off or detains all new life – can also be turned to one’s use, as we shall see. When it erupts, and we finally identify its aspects and sources, we are made all the stronger and wiser.
In this stage of initiation, a woman is harassed by the petty demands of her psyche which exhort her to comply with whatever anyone wishes. Compliance causes a shocking realization that must be registered by all women. That is, to be ourselves causes us to be exiled by many others, and yet to comply with what others want causes us to be exiled from ourselves. It is a tormenting tension and it must be borne, but the choice is clear.
Vasalisa is disenfranchised, for she inherits and is inherited by a family that cannot understand or appreciate her. As far as they are concerned, she is unnecessary. They hate and revile her. They treat her as The Stranger, the untrustworthy one. In fairy tales, the role of the stranger or the outcast is usually played by the one who is most deeply connected to the knowing nature.
We are too pinched off when the stepfamily within us and / or surrounding us tells us we are not much to begin with and insists we focus on our shortcomings, rather than perceiving the cruelty whirling around us – be it emanating from within our psyches or from without in the culture. However, to see into or through something requires intuition and also the strength to stand upon what one sees. Like Vasalisa, we may try to be nice when we ought to be knowing. We may have been taught to set aside acute insight in order to get along. However, the reward for simply being nice in oppressive circumstances is to be mistreated all the more. Although a woman feels that if she is herself she will alienate others, it is just this psychic tension that is needed in order to make soul and to create change.
In the story, the stepwomen so squeeze the burgeoning psyche that through their machinations the fire goes out. At this point a woman begins to lose her psychic bearings. She may feel cold, alone, and willing to do anything to bring back the light again. This is just the jolt the too-nice woman needs in order to continue her induction into her own power. One might say that Vasalisa has to meet the Great Wild Hag because she needs a good scare. We have to leave the chorus of detractors and plunge into the woods. There is no way to both stay and go.
Vasalisa, like us, needs some guiding light that will differentiate for her what is good for her and what is not. She cannot develop by standing around being everyone’s bootjack. Women who try to make their deeper feelings invisible are deadening themselves. The fire goes out. It is a painful form of suspended animation.
Conversely, and perhaps somewhat perversely, when the fire goes out, it helps to snap Vasalisa out of her submission. It causes her to die to an old way of life and to step with shivers into a new life, one which is based on an older, wiser kind of inner knowing.”
(Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With The Wolves)
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